I Am America! (And So Can You!)

Because of the upcoming elections I find myself with a political fervor that only happens once every four years. And no one can educate a person about politics like Steven Colbert. In I Am America (And So Can You!), Steven Colbert takes you on a journey through his mind discussing the controversial issues of America right before the 2008 election. He discusses everything from the role of the family to possible scenarios for the future. And he takes a very unique approach to each of these topics. You almost feel as if you are watching his show. It feels like he is talking to you. And even now, days after finishing the book, I still hear his voice talking to me in my head. With the election looming many of these same topics are coming out again. I care about these issues. I am a patriotic American and I love this country. Reading this book helps me to validate my own opinions on the issues of today. But it also helps expose me to another side of the issue. Even if it is a ridiculously radical side. I can relate to this book because throughout my life I have formed my own opinion ont these issues. And more often than not I disagree with the opinions of Mr. Colbert. In fact, I am on the other side of every argument that he presents aside from race. So in an effort to not ramble on for pages, whenever I inform you of a side Mr. Colbert takes (and there are a lot of them), assume I am on the other. I was raised in a liberal household in a liberal city. Therefore, I have liberal ideals. I come from a very different background than Mr. Colbert. The ideas he presents are extremely controversial and very arguable. So in an attempt to rid my mind of the ramblings of Mr. Colbert I am going to dump my thoughts out onto this blog much like Colbert dumped his thoughts into my head.

The book starts of with a section titled "My American Childhood." He believes in something called the 5 F's of childhood: Family, Faith, Furry Friends, and Fear of the Elderly. Now in this book there are very few things that Colbert actually approves of. He condemns social security and the elderly for not working. He wants a return to the traditional, sexist idea of a family. He only enjoys animals that have a use. And finally, like all good republicans, he condemns atheists as no-goodnik no-Godniks. The only thing he finds worse than atheists are agnostics who he affectionately refers to as "atheists without balls." In all of these chapters he presents the stereotypical, radical conservative agenda. The only things he approves of are Catholics and his pet Gipper. He is patriotic to a fault but he does make some good points. He, along with many republicans, believes that social security should be privatized and provides some evidence of that fact (although he also uses humor in his evidence). He stresses the importance of a family and pets in a person's early childhood. And he does say to respect the elderly. However, it is between paragraphs about how they are freeloaders. He does make valid points in this book, but they are almost overwhelmed by his radical propositions to fix what is wrong with America.You have to dig deep and read between the lines to see what he really wants you to think. But this section was only the beginning of a book that becomes more radical (and hilarious) with each page.

Next Colbert moves on to his "American Adolescence." Again he has his alliteration to explain the main parts of being a teen. These are the 5 Big S's of Adolescence: School, Sports, Sex, Sodomy, and the Silver Screen. This section is even more ridiculous than the last. After he discusses what sports that he deems actual sports, he moves on to the topic of performance enhancing drugs. He says he advocates them in his book, but his reasoning is so ridiculous that he actually ends up condemning them. His reasoning points out that performance enhancing drugs are changing the games we love and making them into something entirely different. He then moves on to the realm of sex and dating. A subject that many teens think about on a daily basis. However, Colbert is a firm believer in abstinence. He sees sex as only being an option when trying to procreate. In this way he advocates the agenda of many conservatives. Paradoxically, he advocates abstinence only for readers of his book while he is allowed to have as much sex as he wants. Reading between the lines here exposes the hypocrisy he sees in today's politicians and leaders. Or maybe he just wants to have a little fun. It's one of the few things that's up to the reader to decide. Now when Colbert says sodomy he really means a chapter on homosexuals. And guess what. He is against gay marriage and gays in general. He condemns them as liberals trying to corrupt our youth in the eyes of god. He even provides a list of the top things that are trying to make him gay. I won't spoil the top offender, but it is not gay people. Although he does attempt to convince the reader that it is immoral in the eyes of god. Finally (so to prevent my rambling on like Colbert), I am going to combine Silver Screen and School into one. He argues that both are attempts of the liberals to corrupt our youth. He sees Hollywood as immoral and full of Italians who need more regulation. He sees it as Big Government trying to control our every action. However, yet again, it is hard to take him seriously. He is extremely radical in all of his reasoning and many of his arguments only serve to strengthen the liberal ideology.

Now Colbert has grown up to to achieve "American Maturity." In this section he discusses the 4 S's and one M of maturity: Socioeconomics, Segregation, Science, Sombreros, and the Media. In all of these he condemns the liberals of trying to corrupt and change the American way of life. Whether it be through the media, through scientific "facts," or a potential middle class revolution. He sees each and every aspect of this chapter as a threat to America. He wants to get rid of Big Government. He wants to make the United States a republican utopia. In the Class War chapter, he defends the rich and says that the lower classes aren't working hard enough. In the Immigration chapter, he condemns all immigrants as ruining America. In the Science chapter, he accuses scientists of trying to advance the liberal agenda using only observations and not relying on God at all. In the Race chapter, he advocates for a race free future where everyone is equal. This is the only main point of his that I agree with. Our country would be better off without the barriers of racial discrimination. Colbert and I finally agree on something. Finally, in the media chapter he condemns the liberal media of trying to ruin America and of not being fair. He also says that Fox News is the most fair of the news networks. It is hard to find something in this book that Colbert is in favor of. He is against the media, immigration, any other religion except Catholicism, and Hollywood to name a few. Throughout this book he attempts to discuss some of the biggest issues facing America today and offers a few conservative solutions to these issues. I could go on forever talking about the ideas he presents but I'll leave you with a final word from Mr. Colbert. "If you want me to worship you as your God I understand."

Now I bet you're all expecting to use a rating system based on thumbs as this blog is thumb based. However, I don't want to conform to the social norm (I'm looking at you Annie). So I present my alternative rating system. This book received 85 horses and bayonets out of a possible 100. It used to be 91 horses and bayonets but you have to remember that we have fewer horses and bayonets now then when this book was written. Our rating system (and military) has changed. Maybe someone should go tell Mitt.

Speaker-First person ramblings straight from the mind of Steven Colbert. It sounds exactly like he's speaking to you. It seems like an extended episode of his show. He frequently uses humor whilst making points on homosexuals and religion. In addition, the ideas he presents are all drastically conservative.

Occasion-2007 just before the election. The race is just beginning to heat up although no candidates had been selected yet. He discusses the most important issues at the time of the race. He mainly advocates the position of the Republican party.

Audience-The same target audience of his show. It appeals most to people ages 18-49. However, anyone who is slightly knowledgeable about politics and has a sense of humor will enjoy this book.

Purpose-He states many times that he is trying to make everyone who reads the book think exactly the same as he did. He is trying to make everyone a far right conservative. However, he also states that he wrote the book to try and make money. In my opinion, I think he wrote this book to attempt to expose how many authors of other political books are ridiculously radical. He attempts to make fun of the political thinkers of today. In general, he is just trying to poke fun at the political world.

Style-His writing very closely resembles the way he speaks. The language is fairly basic, but he frequently makes use of equivocation to make a point. Or more often to make a joke. He takes you on a journey through his mind. You feel as if you're reading exactly what he is thinking. Straight out of his mind with no censorship.

Tone-Colbert leaves readers with no room to make their own opinions. He presents his opinion as the one and only opinion. However, in advocating his own opinion he almost advocates for the other side because he presents some ideas so radically and ridiculously. It has a tone of radical conservatism. But because it is so radical it also has a comical tone.